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The results are in and Oktoberfest ranks in the top 3 parties of my life. I’m sure that many of you can guess what the other 2 ones are – I don’t need to waste the space here.

Beer tastes better here because of the environment. Just like any meal eaten when out backpacking tastes wonderful, beer consumed while in Germany is just better. In the case of outdoor cuisine, things taste better out of a sense of accomplishment and a little bit of despiration. Here at Oktoberfest, loud accordian music, thousands of friendly people, a little smoke and, yeah, those women (and their breasts) in traditional dresses, all combine to make a perfect beer drinking experience. It’s all about context, baby.

Funny story. This guy, he must have been 14 or 15, and it was obviously his first Oktoberfest. You can tell he took great pride in his pressed shirt and leverhosed, However, as we watched him consume his 1 liter beer, we saw him get less and less proud of his clothing and more and more concerned about keeping his prezel in his stomach. Just after I took this picture (link to follow), a waitress took pity on him, took away his half empty beer and sat with him until he felt better. What a country!

Letterman style, here are my top ten Oktoberfest tips:

10. Stay for multiple days. There is just too much to see/do/drink..
9. The distance from the Oktoberfest grounds to the hotel is at least three times the distance from the hotel to Oktoberfest.
8. Drink when you can, piss when you can.
7. Germans speak better english totally drunk than I do sober.
6. Pretending to be Scottish is fun at Oktoberfest.
5. Only in Oktoberfest can you hear back-to-back: a polka, John Denver and the Spice Girls.
4. Pig knuckle smells better than it sounds. As we never got the courage to order it, we’ll never know how it tastes.
3. Did I mention how hard it was to find the hotel after 3 liters of beer?
2. You cannot find chocolate covered pretzels at Oktober fest. We tried. A long time.
1. Elvis costumes, totally.

My total: over 9 liters of beer over 3 days. If the married guy’s wife is reading this, he drank one small glass a night because he’s responsible. If anyone else is reading this, K made some of the Germans envious.